The best way to help people overcome/accept/transition through grief is to become aware of our OWN beliefs about life and death, dispose of any false premises and create some empowering new meanings. Here are my thoughts …
1. DEATH IS ALL-WAYS A BLESSING … One of the major false premises we deal with around death (either physical death or the death of a relationship etc), is that death is a BAD THING. When examined closely, death is always a blessing, a relief from trauma, a bodily condition, the release of emotional or mental pain, an opportunity to take life to a new level … it is continued suffering without relief that would be a tragedy.
2. OUR BELOVED HAS RETURNED TO SOURCE ENERGY … I have yet to find anyone who doesn’t believe that there is something greater than what we are consciously aware of. Some sort of divine nature, creative force, God etc. The person who died has returned to the pure positive source energy where we all came from.
3. WE CAN STILL COMMUNICATE WITH THEM … I have yet to meet anyone again who doesn’t admit to having conversations with people either living or dead in their own minds. It is much easier to have uplifting communications with them when we’re in a more peaceful and relaxed “state of mind”. Anyone, even in the midst of grief is capable of shifting their focus from what they’re missing to what they could have instead, and this belief/theory sometimes provides tremendous incentive for people to move to a new level so they can once again talk to the person they are missing. In effect, once people have died, they are even more accessible to communicate with when we raise our level of conscious awareness.
4. DEATH ENCOURAGES FURTHER SPIRITUAL GROWTH … The death of someone we love usually generates more of an interest in our own spiritual growth. It can promote research into other possibilities like reincarnation, other religious beliefs and past lives etc which we may never have even considered before.
5. LIVING MORE FULLY ONCE WE FACE DEATH … Accepting that physical death is inevitable can make us more willing to live “with gay abandon” whilst we are here, to NOT take life for granted and to appreciate more fully each waking moment. We can ask our clients, what they might have done differently in hindsight and to set a new intention for the future.
6. IT IS NOT OUR BELOVED WE ARE REALLY MISSING … The last false premise I like to challenge, is that the pain we feel from losing someone we love is NOT because they are gone, it is because we have used their death as an excuse to disconnect, forget or disassociate from the connection to our own soul/ higher self. We cannot bring them back as such, but we do have the power to reconnect to the essence of “who we really are” … a lover, a giver, a magnificent creator, a source of life, inspiration and hope to those around us!
Blessings and love to all,