Get Rid Of Bad Habits – for good!

Using Strategic Intervention (physiology, focus and language)

I grew up in a family where ANGER and VIOLENCE were often the most dominant ways of showing we cared about each other – yes, they WERE the ways we showed that we cared about each other. Does that sound strange to you? Most people assume that anger and violence are a way to dominate, hurt and control people … and from one perspective, this is true.

I’m here to suggest that there is a more life-enhancing (and also true) way of viewing the same situation … that every bad habit, negative pattern and unwanted behaviour has a positive intent. You might like to keep an open mind about this matter and understand that skepticism is healthy if you’ve never been exposed to this concept before.

UNDERSTANDING THE POSITIVE INTENT BEHIND EVERY PROBLEM BEHAVIOR

I believe that EVERY problem behaviour has a positive intent: to protect, to prevent, or to provide. If you can understand the positive intent behind the problem behaviour, you will know how to change your thoughts around it, change the way you speak about and change the way it effects your life in the fastest and most effective way.

To get a direct experience of how positive intent is at the foundation of every bad habit, problem behavior or negative thought (even those that have been a problem for many years), simply download our FREE Get Rid Of Bad Habits – for good! E-Book and find your own positive intent for one of YOUR OWN bad habits, negative thoughts or unwanted behaviours, no matter how large or small. After all, experience is always the best teacher.

HOW WE CREATE OUR FEELINGS, EXPERIENCES AND BEHAVIORS

• Let’s start by realizing, a person doesn’t get angry and violent ALL the time – they only get angry and violent some of the time, when they get in a certain state. The state is usually triggered by some sort of situation like an event, drugs, alcohol, stress or an emotion that the person does not accept, understand or feels powerless to change.
• These situations are usually predictable and can be controlled by the person if they have a willingness to change combined with an understanding of what triggers the angry state and the physiology, focus and language they use to STAY in that angry state. Once an understanding is achieved, they can then practice changing their state to a different one until a NEW habit is developed and it becomes second nature.
• According to Human Needs Psychology we choose to keep expressing any emotion, behaviour or pattern because it meets one or more of our 6 Human Needs. If we meet 3 or more of these NEEDS, we become ADDICTED TO IT no matter how much we might declare we want to choose something else. Once you understand what needs you or the other person is attempting to meet, you will understand how to choose more life-enhancing ways to meet those needs instead.
• Sounds too easy doesn’t it – To get a REAL VISUAL EXAMPLE of how powerfully we can create and stay in a particular state by using physiology, focus and language, WATCH THIS VIDEO taken during an Anthony Robbins seminar of a girl who was stuck in a cycle of depression and anger. The same techniques of Strategic Intervention, can be applied to gain understanding of ANY unwanted behaviour, bad habit or negative emotion including anger and rage that may or may not lead to violence.
• Once we understand and recognize what triggers the other persons problem behaviour and how the anger is meeting their needs, we can PLAN by making adjustments to our own responses and meet their needs in more life-enhancing ways instead. Believe it or not, WE can also powerfully impact the persons angry outbursts and break their negative pattern in ways that are flexible, will meet their needs and will meet your needs as well. These methods are so easy to understand that ANY person can do it themselves without needing a therapist or third party to mediate. All it takes is a genuine desire to learn and USE the techniques in ways that work for your specific situation. Most people get to discover a resourcefulness and creativity they’d forgotten they had and learn so much more about themselves in the process. It only takes one person to change a relationship or a family dynamic, even if it has been a long-standing problem for decades.

HOW TO CHANGE EMOTIONS, PERCEPTIONS AND BAD HABITS

If you watched the VIDEO you will now have a much better understanding of how powerfully we create our feelings and emotions by using our body (physiology), what we choose to think about (our focus) and what we say about ourselves, other people or our situation (language). It’s the meaning we give to what we’re focusing on that creates the emotion that then leads to the unwanted behavior.

Sometimes it serves us to re-think our beliefs which we often don’t even question, yet each of the beliefs we identify with, form the foundation of EVERY action we take. Here is a vivid example of how a belief can change the entire perception or anger and violence. Changing just this one belief, personally brought me to a position of deep understanding, forgiveness and love in a once devastating family situation, which I had never thought possible.

>> If we choose to believe that anger and violence are a way to dominate, hurt and control people then we will have one perception of the experience.

>> If we choose to believe that behind all anger and violence is a positive intent, we will have a completely different perception of the SAME experience.

You only need to ask and answer this one question. What could be the positive intent behind someones angry, outrageous or violent behaviour?

Using Strategic Intervention (human needs psychology)

BREAKING THE PATTERN OF ANGER, RAGE AND VIOLENCE

Please Note: This section of the article is the missing piece to the puzzle on “How to BREAK The Pattern Of Anger, Rage and Violence” whether from a point of being the victim OR the perpetrator. An entire E-Book on the subject with specific visualizations, ground-breaking techniques and useful practices based on Anthony Robbins method of Strategic Intervention, will be available for sale very soon. Watch this VIDEO to see how powerful and life-changing these techniques really are.

This work is a culmination of my personal research and life experiences after many years of being a victim of family anger, rage and violence and also a perpetrator at various times with my own children. My pattern of accepting the position of victim has been replaced by something so valuable, that long term family conflict has dissolved completely after many years of struggle. My position as perpetrator still needs to be “cleared” with one of my children, so I am not coming across as a complete and perfect example of re-solution, however the material has been so profoundly beneficial for me I can only see benefit for others as well, especially as it is designed to be so flexible that YOU get to choose exactly what you want and what you believe will work for you, based on your understanding of your own self – after all, how can I decide what will work for you if I haven’t “walked in your shoes”! What I can do though, is share the material with you in ways that you get to actually EXPERIENCE – not just read about – and teach you how to adapt and apply the method to your own unique circumstances.

This work does NOT deal with the traditional methods of problem solving, anger management and analytical approaches. You can find those in other places on the internet or in bookshops. What it does do however is work very gently on a deeper heart-felt and more spiritual level, asking you questions you may have never asked before as well as assisting you to see how your thoughts, belief structures and perceptions stimulate your emotions which form the behaviors that produce the results you are currently witnessing in your life. Once we understand how easily we do that on a moment by moment basis, we can change anything.

If you are interested in purchasing the e-book with the missing chapters included, please contact us we will respond to you as soon as possible.

Here are some practical strategies for processing your own thoughts, focus and language in positive ways AFTER an encounter with an angry person.

“Identify your problems,
but give your power and energy to solutions.”
Tony Robbins

1 … How did you handle the situation WELL? Sometimes we assume we haven’t handled a particular situation well. Sometimes our assumptions are NOT the truth. How did you handle this situation REALLY WELL in ways that you are overlooking or under-estimating? You might like to physically STAND UP and turn around so you can get a different perspective. This is a technique we can use to activate our PHYSICAL BODIES at the same time we are CHANGING OUR MIND. Use it whenever you need to make a change.

2 … How could you have handled the situation better? Of course, if there is a threat of violence, removing yourself from the situation and getting professional help is the BEST THING YOU CAN DO. But, is there something you would do next time if you were confronted with the same type of situation?

3 … Think of three qualities or traits you admire and appreciate in the other person. Many times we FOCUS on only the persons “bad points” and ignore the “good” when a more empowering way is to focus on the things we like about the person and “let the rest go”. My guess is that you probably do that when you think about yourself as well. Do YOU focus more on the parts of yourself you don’t like rather than acknowledge and cultivate the stuff you do like? If you can do that for someone else, you can do that for yourself too. What are some of the other nice qualities the person possesses that you could add to your story to give it more balance? What are some of the nice qualities that you possess too?

4 … Think of three qualities or traits you DON’T LIKE in the other person. Then make a decision that you will NOT be like them. Just because someone treats you badly doesn’t mean you have to treat them, yourself or other people badly too. Lead by example and behave in ways that you admire. Treat other people as you would like them to treat you.

5 … What makes you FEEL HAPPY OR SATISFIED about this situation? Sometimes we focus on what makes us unhappy OR upset and only see one half of the equation. It is a way we lie to ourselves in order to BE RIGHT or be REACTIVE instead of being PROACTIVE. Now, answer the question with feelings from your heart NOT from your reactive mind!

6 … List the qualities, learning’s and benefits you could gain from REALLY solving this problem effectively if it were to happen again. This serves to move you away from meeting your need for variety and excitement in less than healthy ways. You might like to READ OVERCOMING DRAMA IN OUR LIVES to get a better understanding of how easy it is to get involved in drama situations and how to get out of them. Perhaps you could even walk forward a few paces (into the future) before you answer the question, then feel how it feels to have truly re-solved this problem for yourself – knowing what to do next comes easily from this place of REMEMBERING who we truly are at the core of our being. YOU truly are magnificent!

Feel free to leave your questions or comments in the box below. We always enjoy hearing what you have to say!