The main reason we have relationships, want children, go to sporting matches, start a business, jump out of planes, drive fast or get pets,
… is so we can FEEL more!”
The strength of our feelings let us know how much we’re participating in life … Extreme fear or intense anger feel much more alive than boredom and safety. Heightened ecstasy and great excitement feel more alive than apathy and balance.
It’s normal for each person to reach for better feelings … Some do it through drugs or sedatives, through meditation or massage, through extreme sport or walking in nature, through food or fasting, through getting together or breaking up. No method is right or wrong , it’s just a way to get us to where we “THINK” we want to go.
But underneath it all, most of us thrive even more when we’re “loving” – when we love our babies no matter how many sleepless nights we go through, when we love our pets no matter how much they cost us to keep.
WHY DO WOMEN STAY WITH MEN WHO TREAT THEM BADLY?
… underneath it all, they know that loving unconditionally feels better than loving someone half-heartedly. That would be like watching a romantic movie without any sexual tension … hmmm, a little boring perhaps.
WHY DO MEN CHASE WOMEN THAT IGNORE THEM?
… unconsciously, men know they want to feel more too, and opening to someone who’s easy to love just doesn’t present a thrill. That would be like watching a game of football and already knowing who’s won the game …
But I Want Something Better Than That!
Yes, love can stretch even further than that … when we love our teenagers no matter what trouble they’ve been in, when we love our mates no matter what transgressions they’ve committed … but …
“THE ONE THING THAT MAKES LIFE WORK BEST …
is when I respect, value and love MYSELF,
no matter how bad I think I must have been,
no matter how ugly I think I look in the moment,
no matter what I think I’ve failed at and
no matter how many mistakes I might have made in the past.” ~ ER
But, How Does Loving “Myself” Get Me A Better Relationship?
When I respect myself … I don’t tolerate someone elses crap, I don’t take what they’re saying or doing personally, I don’t even stay in the same room if it feels uncomfortable, and after a while, they show respect for me too (or they just disappear from my experience).
When I value myself … I expect to be treated well, paid well and appreciated well, and after a while, it just comes naturally.
When I love myself … I think thoughts that feel good, have conversations that feel good, go to places that feel good and hang around with people who feel good … and before long I notice, that the ones who really matter, loved and cherished me anyway.
THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP …
… is the one I have with myself. ~ ER